Feliz Navi-gator
For many, the holiday season is a mish mash of dysfunctional family interactions threaded with triumphs, tragedies, and a rainbow of personalities.
For those who don’t participate in holiday festivities: Shit. We get it.
For those who live for the holidays: the planners, the overly joyful excited for every cousin/aunt/uncle/dog/stranger they encounter, buying gifts for your pets, putting reindeer antlers on your Chevrolet: Shit. We get that too.
Through this blog, there is an understanding that “family” is a composite not limited to our biological ancestry. Often times, “family” can be an escape from the genetics that scream: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? HOW DO I FIT IN THIS MESS? Family can also be the only safe haven of authenticity for some. A time to reminisce, laugh, and extend condolences and compassion for life’s many challenges. Family is work because well, relationships are work! Each interaction and memorable moment over the years evolve into a holiday cheese ball of nostalgia.
Navigating conversations can require a bit of mindfulness in order to avoid the volcanic eruption of dialectic turned self-righteousness. Here are a few tips:
Walk away if you feel a conversation isn’t in the best interest of your well-being or those you love.
Wink and nod. Kind of like Santa.
Remain deeply superficial.
Choose your targets wisely. You like Margie: talk to Margie while your uncle John and Uncle Bill argue the value of tariffs. Remember that politics give people a reason to lose their sanity. Stay sane. Stay mindful.
Stay near the desserts. Or the savories (depending on your type)
If you hear something that you must defend: do so with grace. For instance, you may witness a family member elicit microaggressions or micro insults towards a marginalized population or person. A good response might be: “I don’t feel this is an appropriate topic for discussion. Most of us find it offensive and if you need to continue, please do so in private”.
Be mindful of who you are engaged in conversation with prior to exploring topics such as dating, family, bankruptcy, careers, divorce, addiction, and politics. (refer back to remaining deeply superficial).
If someone is drunk or intoxicated, put their safety first and your opinions last.
Protect the children from any possible trauma if possible: designate an area for their unadulterated joy to spread (hopefully to Uncle Bill and Uncle John).
Survive through love and respect for all the differences and remember why you chose to attend in the first place.