Holiday Hangover Reflection: A Simple Resolution
The holidays often arrive carrying an unspoken mandate to rejoice and be glad (yes, I was raised Catholic). Alongside that expectation comes a steady accumulation of demands—consumerism, family gatherings, social obligations, cooking, baking, gifting, hosting, traveling. The list seems endless.
Have you ever noticed that your internal capacity does not quite match what the season asks of you? That your core self is not designed to hold all the obligations bestowed upon you by the world? Perhaps your essence is deeply connected to some traditions, but not all of them. And yet, year after year, you still show up. You wear the hats. You perform the rituals—even when you feel the quiet disconnect.
If this resonates, you are not alone.
Many people experience a subtle but persistent tension during the holidays: a mismatch between the complexity of expectations and their genuine need for rest, simplicity, and calm. This can be especially true for those who are sensitive, caregiving, neurodivergent, healing from trauma, navigating sobriety, or simply paying closer attention to their stress levels.
From a holistic health perspective, this tension is not a personal failure—it is a nervous system response.
The body does not distinguish between “good stress” and “bad stress.” A full calendar, heightened social engagement, financial pressure, disrupted routines, and emotional labor all register as stimulation. For many, the holiday season pushes the nervous system into a prolonged state of activation. Even joyful moments can feel draining when there is little space for regulation or recovery.
I love my family. I love my friends. And still, I feel a powerful gravitational pull toward peace and quiet when I am given a rare moment to embrace it. Where I tend to struggle is not in the desire for rest, but in the processing of unwarranted guilt when I allow myself to choose it.
Guilt often arises when our internal wisdom conflicts with external expectations. Yet, from a mind-body standpoint, honoring your limits is not avoidance—it is regulation. It is maintenance. It is preventative care.
When we show up for family and friends, there is far more flexibility than we often allow ourselves to believe. There is wiggle room in how long we stay, how much we contribute, and how much energy we bring to any gathering or tradition. Just like healthy boundaries, we do not have to swing from porous to rigid in order to experience grounding.
Instead of arriving early to help, bringing a dish, staying late to clean up, and leaving depleted, it can be regulating to set the tone ahead of time. Something as simple as:
“I love you and I cherish this tradition. This year I’m working on my stress levels, so I’ll need to head out a bit earlier to get the kids to bed.”
This is not a rejection. It is a recalibration.
Holistic health invites us to see peace not as a luxury, but as a biological need. The quieter moments—leaving early, saying no to one more obligation, choosing rest over performance—are not failures of gratitude or love. They are acts of self-respect and nervous system care.
Perhaps the simplest holiday resolution is this: to notice what genuinely nourishes you, and to allow that to matter.
Not every tradition must be carried forward unchanged. Not every expectation requires compliance. And not every season of life calls for the same level of output.
Peace, when chosen intentionally, has a way of rippling outward—softening stress, reducing resentment, and making the moments you do participate in feel more authentic and sustainable.
And that, too, is a way of honoring the season.